i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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