wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
God, I missed his penis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
