ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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