Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
