You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
