I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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