I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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