i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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