Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
