I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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