Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize