can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
