Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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