He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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