so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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