we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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