first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
