Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
