if only i could text you this smell
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
