idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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