I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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