nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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