Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
