He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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