Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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