Whod you bang
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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