Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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