So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
