I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
