Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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