Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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