the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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