dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
