Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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