I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
