i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
