i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
