Already got asked if we're dating
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize