Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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