i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
