Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We're too hungover to prance.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
