It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
