Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was confusing and full of hummus
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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