How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize