based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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