omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
