I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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