At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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