oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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