Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
