my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
