I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
