you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Your dad touched me again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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