It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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