my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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