***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
