I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You're a waste of cheezeits
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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