she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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