Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
