Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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