the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
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$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
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I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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