her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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